Day 058 – Trying to Meditate

Welcome to Day 58!

Quickly, my day was incredibly dull to write about.  There was a lot of lying about watching Netflix with family and in the evening playing Rummikub.  

There was a little bit of discussion around how I was setting up a meditation group as part of work’s wellbeing program.  The funny thing is, I was pushing so hard before COVID hit to get a meditation room setup, the location even managed to hand over a few metres of musty, air-conditioning free space together with support for some ottomans for people finding the ground too far away when dressed in business clothing. Then COVID hit.  

This led to me thinking of just how important meditation or mindfulness is for mental health.  How I see meditation and mindfulness as being the mental equivalent of brushing your teeth.  Getting into a habit let alone a daily habit of meditating, even for five minutes, can be hard.  It’s like trying to get a child to brush their teeth. 

Have you ever met a child that willingly goes to brush its teeth every time?  Have you also tried to have a discussion with a child on the benefits of brushing their teeth? Did you have any success on the second try at getting them to brush their teeth?   First time is easy, it’s a novelty then.  It’s the second time and onward where it gets more difficult.  From there the resistance seems to get greater with every instance when they have to pick up the toothbrush.  

If you’re like me, you have tried both the patient and impatient approach to communicate the benefits of brushing those pearly whites; with varying degrees of success.  On occasion, you’ve also surrendered and let fate take its course with the teeth go a couple of times – especially in the pre-permanent teeth ages.  As you and they get used to brushing teeth on a daily basis, going a day without brushing seems strange.  Now, how’s that flossing going?  

The same goes for meditation, mindfulness, and maintaining your mental health.  The patient approach is to display copious quantities of research demonstrate the benefits of meditation and/or mindfulness on and for mental health.  Benefits like: concentration, living a fuller life, happier relationships, less stress, easy sleeping, and better health are just a few.  And yet, like a five year old, we insist armed with a variety of excuses like, “I find it almost impossible to sit still … I have too active a mind for that stuff… I don’t have time ….”.  There’s my personal favourite, “I’ve gotten to this age and I’m okay”, while swallowing a handful of tablets to help sleep.  Hey!  I’m guilty of it myself – all… the… time 😐!  

Other excuses are a little more difficult to argue with because they’re also beneficial for body and mind:  “but I meditate by running/ swimming/ walking/ listening to music/ watching TV/ dancing … et cetera”, these are all incredibly therapeutic and have a detoxing effect on the mind and body, but they do not teach the mind to obey or heel.  One could argue that the discipline of getting out and exercising is disciplining the mind, and it would be difficult to disagree … but if that were the case disciplining yourself to get dressed for work would also promote relaxation. 

Nonetheless, all these activities, are externally focussed or are inputting new data in addition to old data or simply regrooving/ travelling along existing safe territory in the brain.  It’s good, but it’s the equivalent of swishing your mouth out with water instead of brushing; it cleans out most of the sugar and some of the bigger food remnants but it doesn’t tackle the bad plaque areas, or the gaps in between teeth.    

You may be asking if activities are water swishing, what is the difference between mindfulness and meditation?  Glad you asked 😊. Think of it this way, mindfulness is brushing your teeth (control), and meditating is flossing (getting to the tough to reach spaces where bad stuff tends to happen).     

Now meditation does not have to mean physically turning yourself into a pretzel – even though I wish I could do it voluntarily and easily at will.  You can sit comfortably on a chair, you can lie down, stand up.   Your posture and core get benefits if you can sit up straight while you meditate, but it’s not mandatory.  Grab an app like Headspace, or whatever you prefer and give it a go.  Over time you won’t really need the app beyond a timer and to assist in the same way as a personal trainer.

As a good friend of mine’s grandmother used to say about clearing her mind, “oh, it’s easy! All I do is sit there and think of nothing”.  Never quite knew whether she meant think of “nothing” and what nothing was about or whether it was pushing all thoughts aside so there would simply be nothing?   Sadly, June’s no longer with us to ask.