The first card today is Fighting.  Looking at the statistics, this is the first time the card has made an appearance.  So, it’s been 35 days for this special card.  Grrr… 

You know yesterday when I was talking about Control card having triggering an insecurity, and how one of those insecurities is because I have FOMO (fear of missing out).  Fighting is about when one of those something like FOMO in this case, has gone to the fire alert status.  The image on the card is about a person who is wound up so tight that the slightest provocation will tip the alert status into an uncontrolled explosion.  

The thing is it’s of my own doing.  The person who has triggered me has done nothing toward in a deliberate way.  I’ve been away on recreation leave and sick leave for about six weeks and life goes on.  It doesn’t wait for me to show up.  Ironically and amazingly, issues that someone could have actioned while I was away, do tend to wait for me to show up to resolve them even six weeks on, when they were urgent at the time.  Go figure!  

Where was I?  This person in my life has probably just been looking out for themselves like most of us do.  Any damage toward me is then purely unintentional and I’m simply collateral for which they really have no responsibility toward.

The Fighting card was also triggered by the dentist visit, when the dentist commented that my tooth cavity could be from poor diet and poor brushing.  I held my response long enough for the poor brushing comment to sink in and register, once it registered I was able to quickly ask myself “could this be true?”.  The honest response was I am a poor brusher on that side. Trigger diffused. Phew!

The best way to resolve issues like this is to apply Patience. Patience is the second card and in the Influencer position.  Unfortunately, Patience is also part of the reason that Fighting has been triggered.  It’s in the waiting that thoughts of conspiracy emerge, and not knowing causes tension, hence the Fighting response.

While the card of The Outsider is pictured in the Goal position it doesn’t mean that I wish to be an outsider.  The goal pictured is about feeling like an outsider and wanting to be on the inside – classic FOMO.  The Outsider also shows that the feeling of exclusion is self-inflicted, because if you look more closely at the gate you’ll discover that it is unlocked.  It’s simply a matter of properly assessing the situation.  

The Distant Past position has the fourth card of Abundance.  Another reason Fighting can make an appearance is when a situation is contrasted against a time where you were at a high point.  The contrast between an Abundance of attention and returning to the mundane accentuates the “missing” part of “missing out”.  Makes sense right?

So much so that Flowering in the Recent Past position has a similar energy to the card of Abundance suggesting that positivity has surrounded me or my situation for sometime before I left on leave then coming back to the everyday normal exacerbates the insecurity.  Here the Flowering card is about some personal growth courtesy of the broken ankle.  

There are many things the broken ankle has already taught me but it is also giving me a reality check.  The reality check is that I can’t be everywhere and do everything.  While the broken ankle is a physical symbol of not being able to partake in some activities, it’s also a metaphor for not participating in the non-physical activities. 

Flowering can also refer to the learning how to better use the mobility kneeling scooter and even branching out to the laser clinic for advice that didn’t seem so scary once it was spelled out.

Slowing Down happened after rushing to the dentist and then to the laser clinic.  It was good to take a little bit of time before I needed to go back to work after lunch.  It helped me restore my energy and focus.  It was an appropriate card to have in the Future Energy position. 

Feelings is the seventh position and the card is Healing.  It’s all I seem to be doing at the moment, Healing.  Slowing Down is necessary for Healing to occur, especially after being in the Fighting alert status.  Not sure there is much more to say on the topic of healing at this point in this reading.  However, I have lots to say on emotional and mental healing. 

Other People’s Views, position eight, is that of The Lovers.  The Lovers being about connecting with your inner self and looking composed.  Understanding the ebb and flow of yourself.  There could be a perception that my husband and I work well together as a team.  We do and it’s lovely to be seen in this way.  

Hopes and fears is Celebration.  My fear when it came to today was that I would need to manage to get home from the laser clinic on my own either by Uber or taxi.  The fear of getting to the door, with a backpack, opening the screen door, holding the crutches, while on the kneeling walker then unlocking the door, then trying to get the crutches into position to get up the one step we have into the house,  all without falling.  I can barely manage to get off the chair onto the crutches without feeling like I’m about to fall. 

My hope was that timing of the morning’s events went in my favour and my husband would be able drop me off at home and get me into the house before he went to work.  That would be something for me to celebrate.   (Side note:  Luckily for me that turned out to be the case!  Yay!).

Finally position ten which is the Outcome position has the card of The Miser.  When I go to the dentist, I go into miser mode.  There’s a part of me that has some childish mistrust of dentists when it comes to charging for their services. Perhaps it’s the cost for a 15 minute consult in which time they can fill a tooth and get more money for the shorter period of time.  

Look, I know they have years of study and were probably living the poor life at uni eating two minute noodles and they totally deserve to charge for their services.  But it doesn’t mean I have to like it.  After all the dentist is a business like everything other business and needs money to stay operational in order to hire good staff.  It’s just that sometimes it feels like it’s more than my perceived poor dental hygiene.  Then again, there’s the side of me that knows that’s precisely the reason I’m a bit miserly.  

I’m simply angry at myself for not rigorously disciplining myself to more thoroughly clean my teeth and it’s simply easier to project my frustration onto the dentist.   Forking out extra funds to fix a cavity only seems to make The Miser in me worse. 

Until tomorrow.